Subject: Fwd: You might be a redneck when........

From: Lyn Dearborn <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2006 17:11:53 -0700

New? Improved?  At least there are some new ones ...  Thanks Mindy!

>   Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...
>  "You know you're a redneck when...... "

> You have a rag for a gas cap.
> You burn your yard rather than mow it.
> You can spit without opening your mouth.
> You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
> You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
> The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
> You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
> You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
> Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
> Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
> Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
> You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
> You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
> You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
> Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
> Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
> Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
> You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
> You come back from the dump with more than you took.
> You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
> You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
> You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
> You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
> You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
> You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
> You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and he doesn't want 
> it
> You consider your license plate personalized because your father made 
> it.
> A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of 
> improvements.
> You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on 
> the side.
>
>